Monday, May 3, 2010

This Is Not My Beautiful Child

Okay, you can laugh now.

Remember when I wrote this about how wonderful Molly was? How sweet? Easygoing? That Molly is gone, I'm afraid, replaced with a strong-willed, stubborn, devil-child.

Maybe I'm exaggerating. Slightly. But at just one month shy of her second birthday, Molly has entered the Terrible Twos with a vengeance. Only problem? Molly doesn't realize she's just 2. She thinks she's 8.

Thanks to my sworn enemy good friend Sally, whose own not-quite-2-year-old daughter Maeve is already in underwear, Molly has discovered the joy of the potty. The joy of sitting on the potty. The joy of throwing toilet paper in the potty. The joy of washing one's hands after going to the potty. And, of course, the joy of screaming "PEE ON POTTY!" at the top of one's lungs. She has, on rare occasion, peed on the potty. And I hate to discourage her when she asks to go. But I wasn't planning on potty training her for another year or so. The truth is, she still probably won't be trained for another year or so, but I'll be trained to take her to the bathroom every time she asks for the next 12 months.

Actually, I'm surprised she even asks to go to the bathroom; everything else she insists on doing herself. Getting dressed or undressed. Taking off her diaper. Buckling her carseat. Climbing the stairs, combing her hair, brushing her teeth, putting on her shoes... You get the idea.

In an ideal world, we would have plenty of time and patience and I could watch without cringing while she tried to unscrew the toothpaste cap by turning it first one way, then the other, loosening, then tightening the cap. But I have neither. And invariably, every time we're getting in the car we're rushing to get somewhere, so there isn't time for Molly to climb into the car herself... hoist herself into her seat... put her arms through the straps... etcetera... etcetera. If we do have time, and she screams that she wants to do it after I've already put one arm through the straps, then she'll remove her arm from the straps, then do it again herself. "Good job," I say to her through gritted teeth. Hurry the f**k up, I think to myself.

I love that Molly is independent and wants to learn to fend for herself. That will certainly come in handy later in life. But right now? It's really annoying. Can't she be sweet and pliable for just a little while longer? At least until she actually turns 2?

 "Nope," says Molly.


Meg said...

Hi there, I've been a "lurker" on your blog for eons now, and this is the first time I've felt the need to comment. Your Molly is awesome and seriously ahead of the curve in what she can do for herself. For the life of me I can't understand why you would INTENTIONALLY not potty train a child that WANTS to use the potty... especially to say you're going to hold off for a year. To me it sounds like you're trying to stunt her and her needs/wants at this stage.

My best friend runs a daycare and runs into 2, 3 and 4 year olds all the time who can't do the things that your daughter CAN do because the parents don't have the patience...

Please, let her grow up at her own pace and be the Molly she wants to be.

Keri said...

Hi Meg,
Thanks for your comments. Molly is awesome, isn't she? ;)

I do let Molly "use" the potty as she wishes, though I haven't committed to the task of potty training her. While I wasn't planning on doing it for another year, I'm certainly open to letting her try it out. My comment about her not being trained for another year was mostly a joke; the joke being that despite her interest in the toilet now, she probably won't get the real hang of it for another year, a year of us running to the bathroom every time she asks to go and then nodding encouragingly when nothing comes out.

You're right, of course, that I should let Molly set her own schedule. And I do--not that I have a choice, seeing how stubborn she is. I'll take her to the potty when she asks, and maybe this summer I'll commit to full training. But for now she can call the shots.

I'll keep you posted on her progress!


Maxine from Texas said...

"Hurry the f**k up, I think to myself." Oh my yes!
One time I slipped and actually SAID "Get in the F**cking Car!" Immediate guilt ensued and of course I was treated to a rendition of 'f**cking car, f**cking car, f**cking car' halfway to school.

sigh, oh well