Keep in Touch

I recently emailed my dear friend AJ in Boston, someone I've known for 12 years and who was a bridesmaid at my wedding (and I at hers). We hadn't spoken in months and I was embarrassed to tell her that I was more than 6 months pregnant. I felt like a big loser for not calling her sooner to let her know my news.

She wrote back quickly, only to report that she, too, was pregnant, with a girl, due May 29th, same as me.

That b***h! I can't believe she didn't call me sooner to tell me!

You would think that with the modern advantages of email and cell phones and AIM, keeping in touch would be easier than ever. But I find it harder. How hard is it to send an email? Not very. Yet I, and many others I know (hi, Amy!), find ourselves more out of touch than ever before.

My best friend, Michelle, lives in San Francisco, and I'm lucky if we talk more than twice a year. I've only seen my good friend Cat twice since she moved to Colorado 4 years ago, and only spoken to her a few more times. My friend Jess lives in St. Maarten (so you'd think I'd try extra-hard to maintain that friendship), but we've gone as long as a year without talking. Aside from my mother, who calls every few days whether I feel like talking or not (I do, Mom, I swear!), my family rarely hears from me. Am I a bad person?

I hope not. Just a bad correspondent. I hate talking on the phone, but even so, who has the time? By the time the kids are in bed at night all I want to do is lie down in our brand-new king-sized bed. I used to have a 45-minute commute each way for work, during which I caught up on many calls, but now that I have a 45-second commute from bedroom to office, my chat time is way down.

But emails like the one I received from AJ give me hope. Because they mean that I'm not the only bad correspondent out there. All my friends are just as bad.